Top Mistakes Parents Make in Custody and Support Cases

Your kids mean everything to you, and keeping custody of them is probably one of your biggest priorities. But with all the emotions that come with custody issues, it’s easy to slip up and make mistakes that could have lasting consequences.

Your actions can directly affect your child’s well-being and your relationship with them moving forward. If things go to court, acting on impulse or letting emotions take over could hurt your credibility and work against you in front of the judge.

6 Mistakes to Avoid in a Child Custody Battle

To help you stay on the right path and improve your chances of a favorable outcome, we’ve put together a list of six things to avoid during your child custody case in Utah.

1. Using Children as Bargaining Tools

One of the most damaging child custody mistakes parents make is using children to manipulate or hurt the other parent. Courts prioritize the child’s best interest, and using them as leverage can backfire. It may also result in the court viewing your behavior as harmful and impact your custody request.

How to Avoid This Mistake:

• Keep adult issues between adults. Don’t discuss legal battles or personal frustrations with the other parent in front of your child.
• Encourage a healthy relationship between your child and the other parent (unless there’s a safety concern). 
• Avoid making your child choose sides. Asking them to act as a go-between or to take sides creates emotional stress and confusion

Remember, children thrive when both parents work to shield them from conflict. Showing that you can prioritize your child’s emotional needs will go a long way in gaining the court’s favor.

2. Ignoring Court Orders or Deadlines

Failure to follow temporary court orders or missing deadlines is a critical error. Temporary orders—such as visitation schedules, child support payments, or restrictions—are legally binding, even if they aren’t permanent. Non-compliance can result in fines, loss of custody time, or even legal sanctions.

How to Avoid this Mistake

• Read every order carefully. Make sure you understand what’s required of you, including timelines and expectations.
• Keep track of deadlines and court dates by using calendars, reminders, or apps to stay organized.
• Talk to your family law attorney in Utah about seeking a modification if an order is unfair or unrealistic. Violating it isn’t worth the risk.

If you follow orders, no matter how inconvenient, you demonstrate to the court that you’re responsible and committed to doing what’s in the best interest of your child.

3. Badmouthing the Other Parent

Badmouthing your co-parent, especially in front of your child, can prove detrimental for your child custody case. Negative comments about the other parent can be seen as an attempt to alienate the child from them. 

Judges expect parents to prioritize their child’s emotional well-being. If it becomes clear that one parent is engaging in harmful behavior like this, it can impact the judge’s view of their ability to co-parent effectively.

How to Avoid this Mistake

• Choose respectful language when referring to the other parent, even if you’re upset. Your child’s relationship with both parents matters more than temporary frustrations.
• Find healthy outlets for your frustrations—talk to a therapist, friend, or family member, but always out of your child’s earshot.

4. Failing to Communicate or Co-Parent Effectively

Judges tend to favor parents who can set aside personal differences and focus on what’s best for the child. On the other hand, a pattern of poor communication can signal to the court that one or both parents may not be capable of providing a stable, cooperative environment.

How to Avoid this Mistake

• Communicate clearly and respectfully through text or email. Not only does this keep conversations polite, but also provides a written record if needed.
• Stay child-focused. Keep your discussions centered around your child’s needs, such as school schedules, medical appointments, or extracurricular activities, rather than personal grievances.

You can also use co-parenting apps like OurFamilyWizard or TalkingParents. Platforms like these help track communication, shared calendars, and important documents.

5. Not Documenting Important Events

In child custody and support cases, proper documentation is non-negotiable. If you encounter problems without proof, it’s your word against the other parent’s.

Even if you have a solid verbal agreement with your co-parent, things can change, and having a well-organized record makes sure you’re prepared if disputes arise down the road.

How to Avoid this Mistake

• Create a log of significant events. Track important occurrences, such as missed visits, no-shows, late pick-ups, or concerning behavior from the other parent. Include dates, times, and brief notes about what happened.
• Save text messages and emails that highlight patterns of behavior—whether it’s evidence of missed commitments or attempts to resolve conflicts.
• Keep copies of all payments and child support in Utah, including direct payments, receipts for child-related expenses, or money transfers.

For contentious divorce cases in particular, detailed records can make all the difference in securing a favorable outcome. Many parents find it helpful to use a notebook, spreadsheet, or specialized apps to track these events in an easy-to-manage format.

6. Letting Emotions Control Decisions

Child Custody battles can be emotionally draining, and it’s natural to feel anger, frustration, or sadness during the process. However, letting these emotions drive your decisions can hurt your case. Impulsive actions—like sending angry messages, making rash accusations, or refusing to cooperate out of spite—can reflect poorly on your ability to co-parent.

How to Avoid this Mistake

• Pause before reacting. When you feel triggered by something your co-parent says or does, give yourself time to cool down before responding. A delayed, measured response shows maturity and prevents unnecessary conflict.
• Consult with your child support lawyer in Utah before making any big decisions or taking actions like filing a complaint or withholding visitation. Your lawyer can guide you towards decisions that align with your long-term goals and won’t jeopardize your case.
• Stay focused on the bigger picture. Although it’s tempting to chase short-term wins, like “getting back” at the other parent, such actions can ultimately hurt your case. Keep your attention on the well-being of your child and securing a stable, fair custody arrangement.

Emotional outbursts or irrational behavior can hurt your case more than anything else. If you find it hard to communicate with your spouse without losing your temper, have your Utah family law attorney take over all correspondence.

The Bottom Line

Legal battles are rarely easy, especially when they involve your children. However, with preparation, patience, and the right mindset, you can work toward a fair outcome that supports everyone involved—most importantly, your child. We hope this post gave you valuable insight into what not to do during a child custody dispute.

Do you need reliable legal counsel for your divorce or custody arrangement? At Henriksen & Henriksen, our experienced divorce attorneys in Utah are here to help. We understand the emotional and legal complexities of family law and are committed to guiding you through the process with care and expertise. Contact us to schedule a consultation!