How to Navigate a Divorce with an Uncooperative Spouse

When you decide to file for a divorce, it’s natural to want the process to be over as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, this isn’t always what happens. We’ve seen many divorces get complicated by a spouse who refuses to participate, often due to anger, resentment, or an unwillingness to accept the end of the marriage.

If your spouse becomes uncooperative, you may worry that your divorce will be stuck in limbo indefinitely. However, while your spouse’s lack of cooperation can complicate the situation, it won’t stop the divorce from moving forward. You have options, and the law provides avenues for the process to proceed.

6 Steps to Navigating a Divorce with an Uncooperative Spouse

Below, we’ll walk through practical steps on handling divorce with an uncooperative spouse. 

1. Understand What ‘Uncooperative’ Means

An uncooperative spouse during a divorce might take various actions to obstruct or delay the proceedings. Recognizing these behaviors early on can help you manage the situation effectively and protect your interests.

Common signs of an uncooperative spouse include: 

• Ignoring communications from you or your lawyer. 
• Refusing to discuss child custody arrangements. 
• Delaying the divorce process by not filing paperwork. 
• Withholding financial information or hiding assets. 
• Making false accusations or spreading misinformation. 

Once you know what you’re dealing with, it’s easier to prepare for the challenges ahead.

2. Stay Calm and Keep a Clear Head

The divorce process in Utah can bring out the worst in people, and dealing with an uncooperative partner can test your patience. One of the most important things you can do is stay calm and avoid mirroring their negative behavior. Keep your focus on the bigger picture—your future and emotional well-being. 

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the stress of the divorce process, don’t hesitate to take a step back. A short walk, deep breathing exercises, or even taking a day to clear your mind can make a big difference. It’s also essential to lean on a support system—trusted friends, family, or a therapist can help you process your emotions and navigate the tough moments. 

3. Consult a Divorce Attorney Early

Consulting a competent divorce attorney in Utah is non-negotiable. A lawyer will help you understand your rights, explain how the law applies to your situation, and represent your interests in court if needed. 

In cases where your spouse refuses to participate in the process, your attorney can guide you on the legal options available. Also, they can: 

• Manage communication with your spouse on your behalf, reducing the need for confrontation. 
• Gather necessary documentation and information, even if your spouse is being evasive. 
• File motions to compel your spouse to comply with the court’s orders if they continue to be uncooperative. 

4. Document all Interactions

Detailed documentation can serve as powerful evidence if you need to show the court that your spouse is being difficult, delaying the process, or engaging in inappropriate behavior. Make it a point to document every communication with your spouse, whether it’s through text messages, emails, phone calls, or in-person conversations.  

If your spouse is avoiding certain discussions or making negotiations unnecessarily difficult, having a clear log of these interactions will strengthen your case. 

5. Seek Mediation if Possible

In some cases, a neutral third party, like a mediator, can help resolve disputes without going to court. Mediation allows both parties to negotiate terms such as child custody, division of assets, and alimony in a more informal setting. It can be particularly helpful if your spouse is more receptive to a mediator than to you or your lawyer. 

Mediators are trained professionals who specialize in conflict resolution and are skilled at facilitating productive conversations. They work to de-escalate emotional tensions and keep both parties focused on practical solutions rather than rehashing past conflicts. 

However, mediation isn’t always successful, particularly if your spouse is unwilling to compromise or participate fully. If mediation fails, you may need to rely on the court to settle any unresolved disputes. 

6. Protect Your Children

Divorce is tough enough on kids without adding the stress of dealing with an uncooperative parent. But there are several things you can do to protect your children from the emotional fallout. 

First and foremost, keep your children out of the conflict. Avoid using them as messengers to communicate with your spouse, or involving them in discussions about the divorce, custody, or finances. 

Try not to disagree in front of your kids. Witnessing arguments can create anxiety and insecurity, so strive to maintain a calm environment when they are present. 

Lastly, encourage your children to maintain a positive relationship with both parents, unless it’s unsafe. Even if your spouse is being difficult with you, they may still be a good parent. Reassuring your kids that they have the love and support of both parents can help ease their emotional burden throughout the divorce process in Utah. 

Can I Proceed with an Uncooperative Divorce? 

If you’ve served your spouse with divorce papers and they refuse to sign, you don’t have to wait for them to change their mind. You can move forward by filing for a contested divorce. 

Typically, an uncontested divorce—where both parties agree on the terms—moves along faster and more smoothly. However, if your spouse refuses to sign but still files a response outlining their disagreements, the case will proceed to court for a judge to make decisions on unresolved issues. 

In situations where your spouse doesn’t sign the divorce papers or even respond, you can petition the court for a default judgment. A default judgment occurs when one spouse completely ignores the divorce proceedings. To obtain this, you’ll need to demonstrate that you made a reasonable effort to serve your spouse, usually with a delivery receipt as proof.

Upon reviewing your case, the court will issue a default judgment finalizing the divorce and (in most cases) granting your requests regarding property division, child custody, and other important matters.

The Bottom Line 

While it may feel like the struggle with an uncooperative spouse will never end, all divorce proceedings eventually conclude. It’s important to be patient. Divorce can take years depending on factors like assets, anger, and financial resources. However, one spouse cannot stop a divorce from happening. They can delay it- but they cannot prevent it. 

At Henriksen & Henriksen, we’ve witnessed firsthand the challenges a divorce with an uncooperative spouse can bring. We’ve guided many clients through difficult divorces, and we can do the same for you.  

Schedule a free consultation today to discuss your case and let us help safeguard your future.